Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Unexpected beauty

Beautiful, isn't it? This is a microscopic picture of my nemesis and my savior. Methotrexate.

Methotrexate, my medication for my rheumatoid arthritis, is my enemy in so many ways. When I first began taking it, I took it one night a week. I always knew that the next day I would spend feeling miserable - achy, nauseous, mildly disoriented, tired, and just generally bad. As long as I am on this medication I cannot have more children. In the last few months, it has started to effect my liver. But, in many ways, it is also my wonder drug.

Before being on methotrexate, I awoke each morning with pain. My fatigue was often nearly disabling. I couldn't clean my house or do my laundry. Driving my van caused me pain in my elbows, wrists and shoulders. Trying to buckle all the kids into their car seats? I shudder at the memory. Now, I can (mostly) do all these things. I am not pain free, but I am so much better off than I was. I am so grateful for this medication. It is not perfect, but with it I am better than I could be.


Rachel said...

What a beautiful way to look at Briana!

Rachel said...

I meant at "it," meaning the medicine....although you are beautiful to look at too. :)