Monday, March 29, 2010


and completely frustrated. Jason had his colonoscopy this morning and the results were very good. A few benign polyps and everything else looks perfectly healthy. The gastroenterologist told Jason there probably isn't really anything wrong and he should eat a high fiber diet. When we got home, I called and left a message for Jason's "regular" doctor. When he (actually, his nurse) finally called back it was to tell Jason to eat a high protein diet and see him in three weeks.

Seriously??? Why do these freakin' doctors seem to not care about the fact that my husband has lost just under 40 pounds since the beginning of February? Why do they not seem to listen when he explains all his symptoms - loss of appetite, difficulty eating, fatigue and malaise?

We are both annoyed and I will be finding him another doctor first thing tomorrow. Then, we will just have to see how it goes. Talk about a lesson in patience!

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Health update

We heard back from Jason's doctor today with the results of the CT scan.

According to the radiologist there is a "thickening of the wall." Jason's next step is to be scheduled for a colonoscopy- FUN! His doctor told us that this could mean many things - something as minor as colitis or something as major as cancer. We will know more after the colonoscopy.

Again, we are just playing the praying and waiting game.

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Busy, busy, busy

As I anxiously await the results of Jason's CT scan, I am attempting to keep busy. My project today - my front yard.

Our front yard has been a pathetic mess for quite awhile now. Twice now, we have attempted to grow grass and failed. Today began attempt number three. Starting at 8 am I was in the yard, raking up dead leaves, dead grass and growing weeds. Since our front yard is about 1000 square feet this was no small job, especially with my RA problems earlier in the week. But, after many many hours of raking and turning the soil, I was able to put seed down. Jason had bought this "all in one" grass seed that included seed, mulch, and fertilizer, and I ended up covered in green dust - pretty gross!

But, in the end, I am quite satisfied with not only a job done but a sufficient distraction. Hopefully, we can keep the grass alive this time!

Monday, March 15, 2010

My arthritis rears its ugly head again

I have spent the last month feeling pretty good. I have been (almost) able to pretend that I don't have rheumatoid arthritis. We took the kids to Disneyland and, other than not being able to push the stroller, I did really well. We also bought a treadmill since I am very aware that I need to exercise and the only exercise I can really do is walking. I can't walk around the neighborhood because I can't push the stroller and the only times I would be able to walk would involve having at least one little one with me. So, I have been walking the treadmill 3-4 times a week and feeling pretty good about it.

But, feeling good has come to an (hopefully temporary) end. Saturday afternoon I started to have some minor aches and pains that I tried to ignore. I know better than to ignore my pain. I keep telling myself, reminding myself, that at the earliest onset of those aches I need to start my prednisone to help control the swelling and pain. But, since I don't listen to myself, I ignored it and by Sunday morning I could barely get out of bed. My knees were so stiff and painful that I hobbled around using my cane all day. Using my cane means that by the end of the day my wrists and elbows were also bothering me.

But, I started my medicine and I am moving a little better today. Better, but not great. Which means that I can look forward to getting majorly behind on my laundry, dishes, vacuuming, and other housework.

Enough complaining! I will do my best to post something good and upbeat next time. Hopefully.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Please, not again

I received some sad news this morning. Another friend (this is now #4) has been diagnosed with cancer. Not breast this time, but colon. She has asked that this not be announced yet, and since many of my readers know her, I will be very vague on details so as to protect her privacy.

I am not especially close to her, but we are friendly and have chatted quite a few times at school drop off or pick up. She is a strong, energetic woman who has suffered some major losses over the years. I learned of her diagnosis mostly by accident, and since then I find myself returning to the same question for the fourth time now - WHY???

I will be honest - I am asking a little more vehemently now. Four moms in our close community diagnosed with cancer in the last 4 months? How can this be? I know, I have faith, that the Lord has a plan and I know that He will be along side them during these tribulations. But, honestly, that doesn't stop me from being angry and frustrated. I know these are normal feelings during the process of grieving, and I am grieving - not loss, but the pain and suffering that she and her family will have to endure. Please pray for them. I know the Lord will give them strength, but it never hurts to ask for more.

Friday, March 5, 2010


I am sure that Jason will post more later, but since I am home at the computer I will post a little something for those of you keeping up on Jason's health stuff.

As most of you know, Jason has been losing tons of weight for no reason. He had blood work done and he had a doctor visit this morning to discuss the results. His doctor is completely baffled. There appears to be nothing wrong. All of his bloodwork came back normal. He appears to be perfectly healthy, aside from the fact that he lost another 8 pounds in 10 days. So, from here he is having a few more tests run and he will be scheduled for an abdominal CAT scan to see if they can find out what is going on.

In the meantime, apparently, we just keep waiting and praying.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Just not cool

This morning I was driving with Sebastian and Vibiana, listening to the soundtrack for Jesus Christ Superstar. Vibiana was thoroughly enjoying the music, trying to sing along and dance in her car seat. Sebastian, however, was oddly quiet. I asked him if he liked the music.

"No," he said tersely.

"Oh," I said. "Why not?"

"Because, I only like cool music."

I thought this attitude wouldn't show up until the teenage years, but apparently I was mistaken.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Percy Jackson and Protestantism

Darian and I have both thoroughly enjoyed reading the Percy Jackson series. We also went a few weeks ago and saw the movie together. This evening, we were driving home and discussing the merits of movie vs book and Darian had the best insight ever.

Those of you unfamiliar with the stories, Percy Jackson is a young boy who discovers his father is the Greek god Poseidon. The entire series focuses on Percy's role in helping to defeat Poseidon's father Kronos. In the movie, however, Kronos is completely absent.

Darian, in his frustration with the movie, said "How could they leave out the main plot? That's like if you had church but you didn't have the consecration and the body and blood of Christ! That's like, it's like, Protestants!"

Such a little Catholic boy.

Monday, March 1, 2010

McDonald's Missionary

Sebastian has been sick for a few days now and this morning he was complaining that his ear hurt. I called the doctor to get an appointment and the earliest they had was 11 am. I scheduled the appointment and then had to decide how we were going to kill a few hours in town after dropping the older kids off at school. I decided to fall back on a fairly reliable time killer - the play place at McDonald's.

We drove to the east side because that play place is always empty in the mornings. After we all ate some breakfast, the kids ran off to play and I sat and played some games on my phone. After awhile, a little boy about Sebastian's age came in and started to play. A few minutes later, his mom came in and sat at the table next to me. Now, as a little side note, I have discovered that God often sends people to me who, without any encouragement, will share intimate details of their lives. This happens to me all the time - in the line at the grocery store, in the bank, at the gas station. This morning in McDonald's was no different.

No sooner had this woman sat down than she turned to me and started conversation. I am in no way an extrovert and I am very uncomfortable making conversation with complete strangers (one of God's little jokes, I think) but I always do my best to at least be polite. So, I answered some of her questions about my kids ages, etc and that led to my hearing her entire story.

Jessica has just moved to Lancaster from San Diego. She and her husband and their two children had been living with her mother up until her mother died a year ago. She and her husband were struggling to keep up with the bills and house payments when he lost his job. They then lost the house and were forced to live with her sister - all four of them had a bedroom in her sister's 3 bedroom, 900sq ft house. Her husband had great difficulty finding a job until finally he was offered a job up here in the AV. They had never been up here, have no family here, but they decided that this was their best chance, so they up and moved here a few weeks ago. Once they arrived, her husband found out that he did not get the job they originally promised him but a much lower paying job in the same company. He took the job, feeling there was not another option. Jessica had hoped to get a job somewhere, but her youngest is only four. She is trying to get him into Head Start, but there is a waiting list and any job she could get wouldn't pay for the childcare. But, she said that there have been some good things about moving up here. Her husband, a Jew, has found a synagogue that he really likes. And she, a Catholic, found this great church where everyone is "real nice and welcoming." (Yes - she was talking about Sacred Heart!) She told me that she knows God brought them here to the desert for a reason. She said, "Even though I am so discouraged and scared for what's going to happen, I know God's got my back."

This was a reminder that I was so desperately in need of. I have been really worried about Jason's health and the Internet has been most unhelpful - it helps me find just enough information to have me really worried. In my more sane moments, I know that God is there for us. However, it is all the other moments, the moments when it feels like the worry may eat me alive, that I need to mentally slap myself and remember - God's got my back, no matter what.