Rite of Candidacy

Yesterday, Jason received his Rite of Candidacy, the first milestone towards the Diaconate. It was a nice ceremony with Bishop Wilkerson presiding. I felt...left out.


From the beginning of this whole process, the diaconate office has stressed to us the importance of the wives participation. We are required to attend class, participate, and do homework. It has been stressed to us that this journey is a journey we make together, as a couple. If I had not given my o.k., Jason would not even be allowed in the program. So why, then, were the wives excluded from this important milestone?

Don't get me wrong. I am not asking for ordination or even my own "rite". I just think it would have been nice to at least have been able to stand up there next to my husband when he confirmed his commitment to this calling. Would it really have changed anything, liturgically speaking, if I had stood behind him with my hand on his shoulder?

He is called to this ministry, but I am called to be his wife and support him throughout the journey. I think what bothers me most is just the inconsistency from the diaconate office. Support your husband, attend your classes, do your homework, but don't expect any recognition or appreciation.

All my b*tchiness aside, it really was a nice ceremony and I really appreciated that not only did our mentor couple (Deacon John and Diane) attend, but so did our pastor and our pastoral intern. I did feel support and appreciation from them. Plus, much to my embarrassment, at the end of mass this morning, the priest and Deacon John called our entire family up for a special blessing and we processed out with them.

I am certainly not leaving the program, nor am I going to start picketing in front of churches to demand female ordination. I know that the permanent diaconate is a new concept for the Church, and I am confident that this Church that I love and believe in will, in time, find the "happy medium" needed to truly support the Diaconate Families.

Prayer Requests

Yesterday was a big day for prayer requests, so I have decided to pass them on in the hopes of generating more prayers for some lovely people.

In the morning, upon visiting with a friend, I learned that her sister-in-law was recently diagnosed with uterine cancer. A hysterectomy was performed, but they discovered that the cancer had already spread to her liver. My friend's children are having a difficult time dealing with the illness of a much beloved aunt.

After this visit, we went (with my two youngest) to visit at one of the local convalescent homes. We visit twice a month and say a rosary and just pray and talk. At our last visit, one of our "regulars" thanked me for bringing my young children. She said sometimes people bring older children, but they never get to see little ones. Just their presence brought her joy. Many of the residents are scared and lonely. Please pray for their comfort and peace of mind.

Lastly, and very close to my heart, I have a very good friend who discovered a lump in her breast. Though the lump was discovered a while back, her doctor originally brushed it off because she was breastfeeding and told her it was probably a lactation issue. She weaned the baby and continued to have problems. She went in for an ultrasound and was told that the mass was architecturally abnormal with uneven edges (I think that's right). This is a dedicated mother to her many children, ages ranging from 11 to 11 months. Please, fervent prayers for this incredible woman.

My name is Briana and I am an addict

For those of you who don't know, I am a book addict. My family can attest to this. I am never without a book to read. At every possible moment, I am reading. I go back and forth between reading "fluff" (anything Nora Roberts, Twilight, James Patterson) and reading "religious" books. To be honest, I usually prefer the fluff simply because reading is my escape. With books, I can go anywhere and be anything. I have made an effort to read Christian Fiction, but I found most of it to be, well, crap. Most of it was way too Protestant for my Catholic soul. Until now, the only decent Catholic fiction I had found was Michael O'Brien and his Father Elijah series. Then, I discovered the "new" Anne Rice.

I have been a fan of Anne Rice for many years. I thoroughly enjoyed her vampire books as well as some of her novels. What I didn't realize was that she had a major "reversion" to her Catholic faith a few years ago and has now dedicated all of her writing to God. Her first series is "Christ the Lord". The first book, "Out of Egypt", is a story from the perspective of a seven year old Jesus and his family's return to the Holy Land after their self-imposed Egyptian exile. One thing I have always enjoyed from Anne Rice is her historical accuracy. She always thoroughly researches her time periods and is able to truly place you there. This book was no exception. We travel with this young child, through the political upheaval after the death of Herod, from the temple in Jerusalem to the tiny village of Nazareth. We see the struggles of a young child, trying to understand who he is.

The second in the series, "Road to Cana", begins with a 30ish Jesus, just before he begins his ministry. Here we have a man, knowing his divinity, and not sure what to do with it. Anne Rice does a fabulous job of presenting a very human Jesus, while never ignoring his divinity. Not an easy task! In Diaconate Formation this year, we are immersed in the New Testament. While reading all the textbooks has been interesting, I think Anne Rice managed to really bring it all alive. She pulled stories from the Infancy Gospel of Thomas and other apocryphal writings. She studied many respected New Testament authors and theologians. She managed to pull all of that together and give us a fiction story that maintained the Jesus of the Gospels. Extremely well done.

So, if you are an addict like me, or you are just looking for a good read, I highly recommend the "new and improved" Anne Rice. She also has a brand new book out called "Angel Time" that I am hoping to find at Barnes and Noble this week. If any of you have read any of these, let me know what you think!

Vomitrocious

Last Friday morning, when I went in to wake the kids for school, I found that Sebastian had been sick to his stomach in the middle of the night. Then he fell back asleep, lying in his vomit. My poor boy was covered in dry, crusty, smelly vomit, and I still had to get the older two kids ready for school. I quickly bathed him and managed to get everybody out the door on time. He spent the day a little under the weather, but no fever and no more vomiting. I, of course, spent the day trying to wash dried puke out of his blankets. I was completely unsuccessful and ended up having to go and buy him new blankets and sheets. He was happy, me...not so much.

Around midnight last night, Jason heard Sophia wiggling her door knob, but she didn't come out. He went to check on her and found her standing next to her bedroom door, throwing up. On the wall. She had already thrown up on her bed. Now I know my husband loves me, because he didn't wake me up. He stripped her bed, cleaned the wall, got her cleaned up and back to bed without me knowing about any of it.

This morning, when I went to wake Darian for school, his head popped up from the top bunk and he said he didn't feel good. I asked what was wrong and he says "I just threw up." Great. So, I told him to get off his bed so I could clean it. He said "No, it's o.k. I threw up on the floor." I looked down and, sure enough, I was standing about an inch away from his mess. He apparently felt sick and just leaned over the side of the bunk. Very nice.

Needless to say, I have all the kids home today. Sophia is feeling o.k. - not great, but not sick to her stomach anymore. Darian on the other hand, has a vicious headache and he is still sick to his stomach. And I am working on laundry plus I have to clean the carpet in the boys room. Should be a great day.

Penmanship

A few weeks ago, Darian brought home his first 3rd grade progress report. Darian is a great student so most of it was the expected 94%-98% range with the exception of Handwriting. His handwriting grade was 81% (a C at his school). Quite frankly, I was shocked. Darian has always had very neat, precise writing. What I had forgotten was that this was third grade - cursive writing had begun.

So, I sat down with Darian and had him write out some words using the handwriting letters he had already learned. He sat, concentrated, and very neatly wrote out my selection of words. I saw nothing wrong with them. Jason and I told him to just keep doing his best and make sure he was taking the time to write neatly. He insisted that he did, and we just reiterated that he should keep trying his best.

Over the next couple of weeks I began keeping very close attention to the "red marks" (teacher corrections) on his handwriting. The pattern I saw was, to me, appalling.

First, Darian's main problem is that he is super structured. His handwriting is so nice and neat - but the letters are straight up and down. His teacher insists that all the letters be at an angle. Well, I worked with Darian for nearly an hour one afternoon, and the boy can't slant his letters for his life. He just cannot do it. Second, he apparently makes the loops on some letters (like d or e) just a smidgen too wide.

Seriously??!! Poor Darian was getting so discouraged. He would bring his homework for me to check, and I would think it looked fine. Then, we would get it back with all the red marks. Finally, Jason and I told him that his handwriting grade was, basically, not important. We told him that as long as he was doing his best he would not be reprimanded from us on a lower grade. After talking with other 3rd grade moms, I was pleased to learn that we are not the only parents who had this talk with their kids. None of the moms that I talked to (nearly half the class) had kids with handwriting grades higher than 84%.

With so much electronic communication these days, does anyone even use handwriting anymore?

The Flu has descended

Since last Wednesday there has been at least one Schalow sick with the flu. It started with Sophia, spread to Darian, then Vibiana, Jason, and now Sebastian. Fortunately, it is not a stomach flu, just fever and aches. It is hardest with the little ones because they just don't understand what is going on. Plus, they want to snuggle and cuddle with me, and I am super paranoid about getting sick. Every few minutes I am either washing my hands or using my Purell (which is being kept in my pocket!)

To really put a cap on the whole thing, Jason blew the engine on his car. He was driving it the to muffler repair place to fix what he thought was a catalytic converter issue, when he heard a pop and then the car died. We had it towed to our mechanic here in Lake LA and he told us the engine threw a rod. Fortunately, he got a line on a good used engine with only 50,000 miles on it for a great price. So, while we await repairs, Jason is driving a fabulous rental "pimp-mobile" - a powder blue Grand Marquis! Ha! At least that gives me something to smile about!

Yes, that's all

At mass yesterday, we not only heard about Jonah and his trying to run from what God wanted him to do, but we also heard the story of the Good Samaritan. Our pastoral intern gave an excellent reflection on listening when God calls us. He talked about our need to help others and to think about how Jesus would react to someone asking for help. He ended with, I think, a healthy dose of Catholic guilt to really get everyone to reflect on their own actions.

So, of course, I get to put this into play today. I went grocery shopping and as I was loading up the car, a woman approached me and asked for money. She explained that she was just trying to get a few dollars together to get some food. Now, I had just spent almost $200 on groceries, but that was on my bank card. I hardly ever have cash. So, I begin digging through my purse to see what I can find. With the size of my purse, this is no small task. I know the kids emptied all my change just a few days ago. Finally, triumphantly, I find one lone, crumpled dollar bill. As I pull it out and hand it to her, she looks at it and says,"Is that all?"

Lucky for me, with four kids, I'm used to ingratitude.